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“Come on, David, they’ve given you three months! Yes, you can have more time, but not on full pay. You can’t afford to live on Paternity Allowance, and the company won’t support you for ever. You need this job for the children’s sake. You know it, don’t you?”David would not have taken that nagging from anyone else, but had nodded disconsolately. He knew it all right, but also knew he wouldn’t be able to leave the children in a stranger’s care. His parents were too far away, and Gwen’s even further, and the two grandmothers had already given all the time they could after the funeral.They left it at that, Alex extracting a reluctant promise that David would look for a nanny, or a nursery. Alex had not been back.David felt the grey clouds of depression gather, and once again looked towards the drinks cabinet, feeling the pull of an alcoholic stupor to allow him to escape this hell he was living in, but he did not move. He could not let Gwen down; he would live for their children, but the. He never looks at the outward appearance of them as others do. ‘Do you trust me puppy’ she hears him say again and feels a touch on the back of her head and instantly brings her head up properly and proudly with eyes lowered for it had dropped forward as she was thinking. She scolds herself for having her head lean forward and so breaking position. She is so proud of herself in presenting herself to her Master and is always upset with herself when something is wrong. Her mind starts again to think on her Master’s question. She now knows he has never asked this of her. ‘Surely he knows this answer’ she tells herself. Doubt now enters her mind ‘do I trust him’ as if this was the first time she ever thought of this. She feels a tremble in her body at the thought of doubt that just raced through her mind. ‘I have to trust him or I would not be here collared, naked, tagged, and kneeling before this man’ she states to herself. What else could do this to me to be able to be where I am now.
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